i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
