Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
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She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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