I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
