He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
