Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
