On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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