Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
