I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
