Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
