Where is the hickey?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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