I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
