But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
