I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
