we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
