And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
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