At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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