It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Randomize
