this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
