I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
