Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I checked into jail on foursquare
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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