He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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