take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize