Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
