you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
