$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize