Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
