You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
