his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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