but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
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We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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