wat bout pragnant strippers??
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Found your dick twin last night
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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