I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
