If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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