R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
