whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
