...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
