For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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