He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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