how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
