He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize