i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
