Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
