Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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