I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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