if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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