I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
