porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize