Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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