; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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