I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
