I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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