Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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