I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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