yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
