Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize