My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize