Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love

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(417): View more from Missouri

Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

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(707): View more from California

the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"

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(407): View more from Florida

How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

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