I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
