dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
