birth control should be required to get into college
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize