i permit you to call me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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