I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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