I cockslap morals
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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