Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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