sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize