Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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