How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
