You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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