No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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