With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
