when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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