Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
